I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
