Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
