I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
