this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
