woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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