I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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