if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
