Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize