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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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