Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
