I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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