I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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