My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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