I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
