I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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