So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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