i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
