i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I enjoy the company of your penis
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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