I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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