my mouth tastes like poor choices
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
