5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
