all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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