The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
