it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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