I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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