I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
