You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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