No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
