I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
