thus making me awesome and them whores
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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