while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
