I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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