The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
