Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
