Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
