I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
