Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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