You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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