"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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