Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
