I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
