Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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