Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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