It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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