I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize