There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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