cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
please come you make the beer taste better
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
