PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
