By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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