another moral hangover. fuck.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
