Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Panties = found
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
