can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
