I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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