"it" just moved
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
