Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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