So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
