Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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