i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dear god my vagina.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
