Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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