Who wears a wallet chain?!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
