plz talk dirty to me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize