he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
