This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
