have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
