The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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