i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
